Saturday, May 22, 2010
School is Done!
Sometimes it is hard to believe that I have spent the last eight years in college and cannot get enough education.
Friday, April 16, 2010
New Beginnings!
Focus: Oranization and strong beginnings!
Use the story and re-write the beginning a couple different ways with a partner and talk about your favorite and why.
The River Styx
by Rachel, 11th grade writer
I knew that I was going to have to experience this eventually, but who knew it would be so soon. The water of the river looked just as thick and as black as oil. I could hardly see it through the thick blanket of fog covering it. I saw no animals, possibly nothing was living. Even the trees that spotted the shore seemed to be dead. Everything was silent.
I could see something moving in the distance out on the river. As it inched its way closer, I saw a tall, thin, mysterious figure. It was wearing a cloak as black as the river itself. It was in a small ferry rowing up close to the shore where I stood wide-eyed and scared to death. It was Charon, the ferry driver of the river. I slowly stepped inside, half scared of what I had stepped into and half scared of the man beneath the cloak. We rode along slowly. Neither looks nor words were exchanged.
I could hear a faint cry of a man not to far away. As we got closer, I saw what I thought to be as the skinniest man I’d ever seen. I could see streams of tears running down his thin face as he reached as far as his arms could stretch just for a piece of fruit. But no matter how hard he strained, he would never be able to have the fruit touch his pale, cracked lips. Even the water seemed to go out of its way to be out of reach. After passing him, I could still hear his shouts and cries of hunger. (Tantalus)
I couldn't help but feel sorry for him. But the man I saw next could possibly have had it worse. A tall, muscular man wearing little to no clothing was pushing a boulder up a large hill. He was sweating profusely. He seemed angry, tired and determined, all at the same time. As he got close to the top of the hill, the boulder fell from his grasp and landed all the way back to the ground. He cried out in anger. It apparently wasn't the first time it had happened. He climbed back down the hill and began pushing the boulder back to the top. (Sisyphus)
There was another long stretch of silence and cold, black river. A sudden gleam of light made my eyes strain to stay open. The river was coming to an end, and I could already feel the feelings of depression and sadness just fall away into the blackness, which I would never return to. I would never want to have these feelings again, not even on the day I die and take the trip back down the River Styx to Hades.
Agenda:
Use the story and re-write the beginning a couple different ways with a partner and talk about your favorite and why.
The River Styx
by Rachel, 11th grade writer
I knew that I was going to have to experience this eventually, but who knew it would be so soon. The water of the river looked just as thick and as black as oil. I could hardly see it through the thick blanket of fog covering it. I saw no animals, possibly nothing was living. Even the trees that spotted the shore seemed to be dead. Everything was silent.
I could see something moving in the distance out on the river. As it inched its way closer, I saw a tall, thin, mysterious figure. It was wearing a cloak as black as the river itself. It was in a small ferry rowing up close to the shore where I stood wide-eyed and scared to death. It was Charon, the ferry driver of the river. I slowly stepped inside, half scared of what I had stepped into and half scared of the man beneath the cloak. We rode along slowly. Neither looks nor words were exchanged.
I could hear a faint cry of a man not to far away. As we got closer, I saw what I thought to be as the skinniest man I’d ever seen. I could see streams of tears running down his thin face as he reached as far as his arms could stretch just for a piece of fruit. But no matter how hard he strained, he would never be able to have the fruit touch his pale, cracked lips. Even the water seemed to go out of its way to be out of reach. After passing him, I could still hear his shouts and cries of hunger. (Tantalus)
I couldn't help but feel sorry for him. But the man I saw next could possibly have had it worse. A tall, muscular man wearing little to no clothing was pushing a boulder up a large hill. He was sweating profusely. He seemed angry, tired and determined, all at the same time. As he got close to the top of the hill, the boulder fell from his grasp and landed all the way back to the ground. He cried out in anger. It apparently wasn't the first time it had happened. He climbed back down the hill and began pushing the boulder back to the top. (Sisyphus)
There was another long stretch of silence and cold, black river. A sudden gleam of light made my eyes strain to stay open. The river was coming to an end, and I could already feel the feelings of depression and sadness just fall away into the blackness, which I would never return to. I would never want to have these feelings again, not even on the day I die and take the trip back down the River Styx to Hades.
Agenda:
- Brainstorm differnt ways to start a story as a whole class
- Read story out loud as a whole class
- Discuss the good and bad parts about the beginning of the story
- Students re-write a differnt beginning to the story in partners
- Each partner will be in charge of claiming on example as thier idea so that everyone has a chance to gain points for particiaption
- Then the partners dicuss why they like the other options or why not with supporting details
- the whole class shares a few students samples of the "new beginnings".
The River Styx
by Rachel, 11th grade writer
http://writingfix.com/Picture_Book_Prompts/Daisy_Comes_Home4.htm
I knew that I was going to have to experience this eventually, but who knew it would be so soon. The water of the river looked just as thick and as black as oil. I could hardly see it through the thick blanket of fog covering it. I saw no animals, possibly nothing was living. Even the trees that spotted the shore seemed to be dead. Everything was silent.
I could see something moving in the distance out on the river. As it inched its way closer, I saw a tall, thin, mysterious figure. It was wearing a cloak as black as the river itself. It was in a small ferry rowing up close to the shore where I stood wide-eyed and scared to death. It was Charon, the ferry driver of the river. I slowly stepped inside, half scared of what I had stepped into and half scared of the man beneath the cloak. We rode along slowly. Neither looks nor words were exchanged.
I could hear a faint cry of a man not to far away. As we got closer, I saw what I thought to be as the skinniest man I’d ever seen. I could see streams of tears running down his thin face as he reached as far as his arms could stretch just for a piece of fruit. But no matter how hard he strained, he would never be able to have the fruit touch his pale, cracked lips. Even the water seemed to go out of its way to be out of reach. After passing him, I could still hear his shouts and cries of hunger. (Tantalus)
I couldn't help but feel sorry for him. But the man I saw next could possibly have had it worse. A tall, muscular man wearing little to no clothing was pushing a boulder up a large hill. He was sweating profusely. He seemed angry, tired and determined, all at the same time. As he got close to the top of the hill, the boulder fell from his grasp and landed all the way back to the ground. He cried out in anger. It apparently wasn't the first time it had happened. He climbed back down the hill and began pushing the boulder back to the top. (Sisyphus)
There was another long stretch of silence and cold, black river. A sudden gleam of light made my eyes strain to stay open. The river was coming to an end, and I could already feel the feelings of depression and sadness just fall away into the blackness, which I would never return to. I would never want to have these feelings again, not even on the day I die and take the trip back down the River Styx to Hades.
My scores based off of the 6-traits of writing rubric.
Ideas: 4
Organization: 4
Voice: 3
Word Choice: 4
Fluency: 4
Conventions: 5
The ideas are clearly formulated with details. The only thing that drops the idea aspect down from a five to a four is the fourth paragraph about an man pushing a boulder up a hill. I have heard that story plenty of times.
I gave this story a 4 for organization because it was easy to follow in a sequential manner. There are a few transitions but are not strong and natural.
This piece has voice such as; "I couldn't help but feel sorry for him", or " I stood wide-eyed and scared to death.", but it is not apparent throughout the entire piece, it "pops out on occasion". It is apparent the writer is experimenting with voice, which gives us the pleasant feel, but not enough strong influence to hold the paper together.
The writer plays with some good choices in words and descriptions such as explaining the river like oil or "the trees that spotted the shore". The only thing that makes it lower than the top 5 score is the choice of transition words or sentence beginning words. Some of the paragraphs start with the repetitive "I could".
The sentences flow together rather well and do not carry on as run-on sentences. One of the reasons this sample did not score a five is due to the beginning sentences and the repetitiveness.
This paper scored a five on conventions because it used all punctuation and spelling correctly, even adding quotes and more difficult sentence structures.
by Rachel, 11th grade writer
http://writingfix.com/Picture_Book_Prompts/Daisy_Comes_Home4.htm
I knew that I was going to have to experience this eventually, but who knew it would be so soon. The water of the river looked just as thick and as black as oil. I could hardly see it through the thick blanket of fog covering it. I saw no animals, possibly nothing was living. Even the trees that spotted the shore seemed to be dead. Everything was silent.
I could see something moving in the distance out on the river. As it inched its way closer, I saw a tall, thin, mysterious figure. It was wearing a cloak as black as the river itself. It was in a small ferry rowing up close to the shore where I stood wide-eyed and scared to death. It was Charon, the ferry driver of the river. I slowly stepped inside, half scared of what I had stepped into and half scared of the man beneath the cloak. We rode along slowly. Neither looks nor words were exchanged.
I could hear a faint cry of a man not to far away. As we got closer, I saw what I thought to be as the skinniest man I’d ever seen. I could see streams of tears running down his thin face as he reached as far as his arms could stretch just for a piece of fruit. But no matter how hard he strained, he would never be able to have the fruit touch his pale, cracked lips. Even the water seemed to go out of its way to be out of reach. After passing him, I could still hear his shouts and cries of hunger. (Tantalus)
I couldn't help but feel sorry for him. But the man I saw next could possibly have had it worse. A tall, muscular man wearing little to no clothing was pushing a boulder up a large hill. He was sweating profusely. He seemed angry, tired and determined, all at the same time. As he got close to the top of the hill, the boulder fell from his grasp and landed all the way back to the ground. He cried out in anger. It apparently wasn't the first time it had happened. He climbed back down the hill and began pushing the boulder back to the top. (Sisyphus)
There was another long stretch of silence and cold, black river. A sudden gleam of light made my eyes strain to stay open. The river was coming to an end, and I could already feel the feelings of depression and sadness just fall away into the blackness, which I would never return to. I would never want to have these feelings again, not even on the day I die and take the trip back down the River Styx to Hades.
My scores based off of the 6-traits of writing rubric.
Ideas: 4
Organization: 4
Voice: 3
Word Choice: 4
Fluency: 4
Conventions: 5
The ideas are clearly formulated with details. The only thing that drops the idea aspect down from a five to a four is the fourth paragraph about an man pushing a boulder up a hill. I have heard that story plenty of times.
I gave this story a 4 for organization because it was easy to follow in a sequential manner. There are a few transitions but are not strong and natural.
This piece has voice such as; "I couldn't help but feel sorry for him", or " I stood wide-eyed and scared to death.", but it is not apparent throughout the entire piece, it "pops out on occasion". It is apparent the writer is experimenting with voice, which gives us the pleasant feel, but not enough strong influence to hold the paper together.
The writer plays with some good choices in words and descriptions such as explaining the river like oil or "the trees that spotted the shore". The only thing that makes it lower than the top 5 score is the choice of transition words or sentence beginning words. Some of the paragraphs start with the repetitive "I could".
The sentences flow together rather well and do not carry on as run-on sentences. One of the reasons this sample did not score a five is due to the beginning sentences and the repetitiveness.
This paper scored a five on conventions because it used all punctuation and spelling correctly, even adding quotes and more difficult sentence structures.
Friday, April 9, 2010
spice it up
Focus: Idea Development and getting attention
This lesson gets students thinking about adding some creativity to the details. It is based off of advice given to a character from the book Nothing Ever Happens on 90th Street by Roni Schotter.
The advice is:
This lesson gets students thinking about adding some creativity to the details. It is based off of advice given to a character from the book Nothing Ever Happens on 90th Street by Roni Schotter.
The advice is:
- Focus on an interesting detail or two
- Find poetry in your words
- Spice it up with action
- ask what if to find your story
Students will choose 3 specific nouns to write about in a short story. They will chose a person, a place, and a thing that will represent this person. Then they run down the list and fill in how they would describe each noun using each piece of advice.http://writingfix.com/PDFs/Pic_Book_Prompt_Worksheets/90th_Street_pre-write.pdf
Then the teacher will read the sample story right before students turn the worksheet into a smooth beginning of a short story.
http://writingfix.com/PDFs/Pic_Book_Prompt_Worksheets/90th_6th_Samples.pdf
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Take Action
Focus: Idea Development and adding "showing" details
This lesson will take a look at verbs and how they are used to show personality traits in a charcter sketch.
Half of the class will recieve one writing sample and the other half will receive the other. http://writingfix.com/PDFs/Chapter_Book_Worksheets/Walk_2_Moons_8th_Samples.doc.pdf
The class first brainstorms about some ways to show that a person is generous. Teacher writes the responses on the board. An example, a generous person would give money to charity.
Then each classmate finds a partner with the "other" sample and reads out loud to each other. Then they have a discussion about the character and how the writer shows the character traits.
Here are some guiding questions for pair and share discussion:
This lesson will take a look at verbs and how they are used to show personality traits in a charcter sketch.
Half of the class will recieve one writing sample and the other half will receive the other. http://writingfix.com/PDFs/Chapter_Book_Worksheets/Walk_2_Moons_8th_Samples.doc.pdf
The class first brainstorms about some ways to show that a person is generous. Teacher writes the responses on the board. An example, a generous person would give money to charity.
Then each classmate finds a partner with the "other" sample and reads out loud to each other. Then they have a discussion about the character and how the writer shows the character traits.
Here are some guiding questions for pair and share discussion:
- What verbs do you see?
- What personality traits do you think are being described?
- How does the writer show us these traits?
- What kinds of things does this person do that shows you what kind of peronality trait they have?
picture perfect story
Focus: Idea Development and adding sensory details
Show the sample picture to the students.
In this lesson students will write a short story about a picture by adding sensory details.
Show the sample picture to the students. Read the sample story out loud.
There will be five pictures to choose from.
Each student will pick their favorite picture and start answering the basic sensory questions.
What colors do see?
What sounds do you hear?
Is anyone talking? If so, what are they saying?
What kind of day is it?
What is the weather like?
What do you feel on your skin?
Where are you?
What emotions do you feel?
What can you taste?
What do you smell?
What other things do you see or hear Beyond the picture?
Once the students have answered the questions for a couple minutes, then they free write a short story.
Being a Writing Teacher
One thing that scares me about being a writing teacher is scoring the creative minds in the classroom. I know that is one of the biggest things I will struggle with when I start teaching, besides classroom management. I want my students to get real feedback on their writing and in a way that makes them learn from their mistakes. I must admit that the 6-traits of writing will help make this process of grading a writing piece much easier. Now I can have a specific and concrete checklist for students to check their own work and have specific ways to respond as well. Once I create a rubric based off of the 6-traits of writing, then I shall not struggle with questioning what I am scoring and how to explain it to the students. A rubric will also help eliminate personal preferences in writing and make me double check my writing bias. Many students refer to page numbers and appearance for a good paper but should be focusing on ideas and details. Sometimes longer is not better. In fact, in drafting, we should be eliminating the non-important stuff while enhancing the important details. Sometimes that makes a piece shorter, but as long as it follows the rubric it will be OK.
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